#RecruitingWoes - Resume Dos and Please Don'ts

Welcome to #RecruitingWoes Blog!

My name is Traci Morrow and I have been a recruiter for over 15 years.  I have worked as an independent recruiter, worked for agencies and worked in a corporate environment.  I’ve been a part of more than one start-up, in fact, was around before Monster.com had billions of dollars to throw away on Super Bowl commercials.  Currently, I am working as the recruiting manager for a company that may or may not want to be mentioned, but if you can’t contain your curiosity, I’m sure you can professionally stalk me and find out everything you need to know. 

My Partner-In-Wine and #RecruitingWoes mastermind is Paige –

Hello all! Welcome to our first blog! Unlike my brazen cohort, I have opted to remain anonymous. Sometimes I lose my filter and I don’t wish to lose my job because of it. I’ve been in recruiting a while, Traci likes to say that she taught me everything I know about the industry, and really, she’s not wrong, I’ve picked a few things since she took me under her wing, but all of my foundation is hers. She and I have been friends a while, we have had a few crazy plans like this blog, but I’m excited to see where this one goes. While you’re professionally stalking her, don’t stalk me. It’s weird. And creepy. And I won’t like it.

We are starting this blog as a forum to give validity to the old saying that "no one hates people more than recruiters". Recruiters see every situation, every type of person, walk of life, etc. We want you to be entertained, many of you will be able to take solace that you are not the only one that has dealt with situations like these. Some of you will be aghast and skeptical that these situations are real. We assure you, it’s real. Really, we wish we could make this stuff up. BUT….This is not just for entertainment, it should also be helpful for job seekers as well.

This week we will focus on Resume Formatting (and probably next week and the week after that!) – WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?!?!

While all recruiters are different, anyone that has worked for an agency knows the painful process of reformatting all resumes to company standards. Normally, it’s a nip here, tuck there and bobs ya uncle – a resume you can actually send to a client. However, when candidates think they’re clever, it ends up ruining that entire part of your day. When this happens, there are between 5 to 30 minutes of your life that are lost forever – you will NEVER get that time back. All because “candidate awesome” has decided to “stand out”. You’re not “standing out” you’re “gunning to have your resume trashed”. We could go on and on about this, but for starters please see below:

·         Tables – Why, why, no really, WHY??  Do us a favor – go find the person that told you that tables would make your resume “easy to read” and kick them square in the shins. Tables are the WORST. Especially if originally in PDF format.  They make reformatting more difficult than most things because getting rid of them is damn near impossible. Stop doing this. Seriously. It doesn’t make you cool. It makes you a pain and no one likes you.

·         Crayon Fun/Various Fonts: We aren’t in kindergarten.  If you want to highlight something, then for the love of whiskey, just bold it….in black. You are not Elle Woods. “Pink and scented” gave HER resume a little something extra. It gives yours a little something ridiculous. While we’re on the subject. Pick a font, one that we can read, then Just. Keep. Using It. Seriously. Why do you need more than one font? Don’t be stupid. No one likes a stupid person. This isn’t your high school Power Point Presentation. This is your resume. Your. Real. Adult. Resume. Grow up or go back to working where you did in high school. I’m sure they would love to have you and your ridiculous resume back. Roman, Arial, Calibri. Those are your choices. Pick ONE and stick with it. You want to write in san script? Go be a first grade teacher. Kids eat that up. Recruiters? Not so much. 

·         LOOONG Resumes: Traci had to review a 14 page resume recently, so, naturally, she took to FB and posted her aggravation – we have a lot of recruiter friends. Sometimes this is the only way we don’t tear our hair out. Thus, the blog.  A C-Level manager so appropriately responded that “a 14 page resume is the same as a 0 page resume”! He is right. we don’t care about your minute by minute activities – if you are an ABAP Developer, please don’t tell me EVERY report you’ve ever looked at, touched or updated.  To quote something usually attributed to Dragnet “Just the facts, ma’am.” Highlights. Believe it or not, you can put all this together in no more than 3 pages, you really aren’t that important.  Stay brief. Stay focused.  Tell your recruiter you have an expanded version, if they want it, they will request it.

As a bonus tip, if you are still listing “Excellent Communication Skills” on your resume, then you need to cease and desist immediately.  A recruiter will be able to tell in a matter of a few minutes if you communicate excellently. You’re just wasting more of the recruiter’s time, and your ink and paper.

We could go on but for now, we will stop here. We will return next time with the second of three segments on  Resume Do and Don’ts, or as we like to refer to them. “Seriously? Seriously?! You thought that was going to get you a job?”.  

Trust us.  We are the experts